If you’ve ever caught your reflection on a random Tuesday—maybe in a store window or the microwave door—and thought, Huh… so this is the current version of me, you’re not alone. Our relationship with our bodies changes as often (and as quietly) as we do. But that’s not a bad thing; in fact, it can be kind of beautiful, because every new season of life means a new opportunity to meet ourselves again.
This isn’t about turning back the clock or pretending aging doesn’t happen. It’s about reframing self image and self esteem intentionally through daily practices, so that no matter what stage of life, you feel like the baddie you are.
Yes, you’re getting older
Every single being on this planet is currently getting older. That is just the reality of time marching on—and if we’re lucky, we’ll live long enough to start seeing some signs of aging. Smile lines, wrinkles, sun spots, a changing body: In some cultures aging is revered1, but unfortunately for many of us in Western Society, we’re taught to do everything in our power to look young.
There’s a difference, though, in doing what makes you feel good, healthy, vibrant, and confident, and bending over backward to meet a backward society’s unrealistic demands.
Aging can be liberating
As women age, we face a sort of conundrum: On the one hand, we’re constantly bombarded with messaging in the form of targeted ads, social media, movies, and more that we should feel bad about how we look, and “fix” it. On the other hand, many women report feelings of finally coming into their own as they get older. Some women report feeling liberated as they transition through menopause—no longer dealing with a rollercoaster of hormones, and also, no longer worrying so much about what people think of them.
“I just don’t give a s*** anymore,” says a 49-year-old friend, we’ll call Carolyn. “I used to care so much what other people thought of me; I’d bend myself to fit their needs. But now—maybe it’s the hormonal shift or maybe it’s just ‘wisdom’ of being alive longer– I just don’t care. For the first time in my life, I feel free to be fully myself.”
Carolyn isn’t alone in this. As we get older, it makes sense that we’d gain:
- Self-awareness: The longer we’re on this planet, the more internal wisdom we’ll gain. We know ourselves on a deeper level as we age. We know what works for us—and what doesn’t.
- Perspective: A longer life generally means we’ve been through some hardships. Facing traumas or losses can help put life’s “little things” into perspective. This is why as teenagers, the smallest thing might seem like the end of the world. We just don’t have enough perspective when we’re young.
- Freedom: As many women age, they let go of certain roles that may have defined them for years of their lives: Caring for young children, for example; or maintaining identity based around their looks. If these things change as we get older—kids grow up, looks start to change—there is a great opportunity to find new freedom.
The thing is, with all the messaging telling us “it’s not okay to be okay with aging,” we might need a little guidance in accepting the benefits of getting older.
Intentionally improving self worth and acceptance
Gratitude Practice: Research shows that intentionally practicing gratitude can have a positive impact on mental health, and life more generally.2 This doesn’t have to be complicated—you can simply take five minutes each morning or evening to write down three things you’re grateful for. If you’re focused on body image, you might focus your list on what you’re grateful for about your body.
Positive body talk: The University of Berkeley has an excellent list of 10 things you can do to improve your body image, which we recommend you check out.3 But a couple of things you can implement right now: remind yourself about all the powerful things your body can do; and wear clothes that make you feel good– work with your body’s shape, not against it.
Find realistic role models: Let’s put unrealistic standards on the back burner for a moment, and focus on some female role models who are impressive for their accomplishments: Jane Goodall, RBG, Oprah, Michelle Obama, Ilona Maher, and on and on. Yes these women are healthy and strong–but their power comes from a place even deeper than that.
Watch media that shows real people: This one can be hard these days, but if you make an effort, you can choose to watch shows, movies, and follow people on social media who actually look like real people. Examples:
Remind yourself what’s real—or not: When you do look at social media, remind yourself that at least 90 percent of photos posted by young women are edited dramatically with things like filters or Photoshop.4
Do what makes you feel healthy: Engage in activities that make you feel healthy, strong, capable, and hot. Aging doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel hot—you totally should. And that means different things for different people. If you like a little botox—go for it! If you love a facial– have at it! A run and a gym sesh? Yes. Just be wary of activities that come from a place of fear, insecurity, or external pressure.
Be present in your body: Take some time each day to slow down, meditate, breathe, and focus on your body. You can even do a full body scan, from the tips of your toes up to the top of your head, gently breathing into and relaxing each part of your body.
Keep this in mind when you’re moving too– try to be present in your body as you’re walking, working out, and moving throughout your day.
And do stay healthy: While we don’t think stick thin should be the goal, that doesn’t mean we’d recommend eating bon bons and watching T.V. all day every day. This wouldn’t be good for mental or physical health.
Instead, eat a healthy, balanced diet with lots of healthy fats, lean meats, veggies, and complex carbs (don’t skimp on the healthy carbs, especially as you’re nearing menopause). And be sure to get plenty of exercise. Lifting heavy is especially important for women as we get older.
Think of eating well, exercising, and getting as much sleep as you can (which we know can be tricky as we get older), as the foundations of self care. Everything else are just nice little cherries on top.
Eat up this media:
Podcasts:
- Food Psych with Christy Harrison
- Body Kindness with Rebecca Scritchfield
- The Confidence Chronicles with Erika Cramer
- The Self Love Fix with Beatrice Kamau
- Food Heaven Podcast
Books:
- “Body Positive Power” by Megan Jayne Crabbe
- “Health at Every Size” by Linda Bacon
- “More Than a Body” by Lindsay Kite & Lexie Kite
- “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown
- “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It” by Kamal Ravikant
- “Radical Self-Love” by Gala Darling
Remember, aging is not a punishment—it’s a privilege. Every little line, curve, and change in your body tells a story of experience, growth, and earned wisdom. If you can intentionally embrace this evolving beautiful body of yours, it can be not only an act of self-love– but powerful rebellion in a society that tells you not to.
