In case you didn’t wake up to birds serenading you, a delicious breakfast in bed, or a list of compliments from your S.O. left on the bathroom mirror, we thought we’d let you know, Nov. 13 is World Kindness Day.
While this little holiday may not be quite as well known as Valentines or have the PR of Christmas, we still think it’s a worthy day to celebrate because it’s all about being kind to one another. It was introduced in 1998 by the World Kindness Movement in Japan, and today, this lesser-known holiday is celebrated in various countries all over the world.1
Is there a better way to observe World Kindness Day than to celebrate and support the women in the world around you? We didn’t think so either, so today, we’ll be taking a look at a few ways we can better support the women.
How to Support Women
Many of us grew up in an era when phrases like “Girl power!” were all the rage, but meanwhile, women were not getting equal pay or treatment in the workplace. Many of us grew up during a time when women’s sexuality was more “acceptable” than it was before – but still not treated the same as a man’s. And, a lot of us grew up with great girlfriends, but also have had exposure to a “Mean Girls” environment with instances of judgment and bullying.
So, what would it look like to actually support women, not just in words but in actions?
Women Supporting Women
Don’t shame: Sex is still stigmatized, especially for women. When we shame other women’s sexual choices, or name-call, we reinforce the chains that have held women back for centuries. Every judgment, every label, fuels a culture that tells us our worth is defined by our choices rather than our character. If somebody makes different sexual choices than you and it makes you uncomfortable, it’s an opportunity to examine your own patterns. Ask yourself, why do this person’s actions make me uncomfortable? Do I feel threatened or offended—and why? Does shaming them benefit anybody?
Celebrate the differences: When we see somebody who is making different choices—wearing clothes we wouldn't, getting work done we wouldn’t, dating somebody we wouldn’t—judgment might creep in. Psychologists believe this immediate judgmental reaction can be a defensive or protective response.2 So if you notice it, just get curious. Why do I feel compelled to judge this person? Is there something about her that scares me? Is there a possibility that this person's actions force me to confront some of my own insecurities?
Practice support rather than jealousy: Your cousin just got engaged to the partner of her dreams; your co-worker just got a promotion; your best friend just closed on a home; your sister looks even more stunning with her new haircut. These are all causes for celebration—but sometimes you might have an underlying feeling of jealousy. Hey, it’s okay if you do. We’re just saying, try practicing celebrating other women’s successes and joys, rather than leaning into jealousy. Again, this is an active practice; you may have to retrain yourself to celebrate other women in a world that teaches us to compete with each other.
Share yourself, honestly: We all benefit from hearing each other’s personal stories—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Normalize sharing vulnerably with other women, even the parts of yourself that aren’t Instagram-polished. This sort of honesty not only creates connection and builds trust, but it helps us all feel less alone with our own “ugly” stuff.
Boost other women: Take just a little time to research women-owned businesses and businesses who support women’s rights, and shop there.
You also have power on social media. Share your girlfriend’s new business page, spread the word about your co-worker’s dog-walking side hustle, give a Like to a female artist you follow.
Say the nice thing: Whether you love somebody’s shoes, you appreciate their sense of humor, you admire their dedication at work, or you were inspired by something they told you back in seventh grade that totally changed your life—tell them! We generally have no idea how we’ve impacted other people’s lives, so if somebody has made a positive impact on your life, or even day, we think you should tell them.
Slow down, practice mindfulness: A lot of the things on this list require us to slow down a bit and be less reactive. A great way to get less reactive is to practice mindfulness. This might mean some introspective journaling; it might mean daily meditation; mindful breathing; yoga. All of these things can help us be kinder and more empathetic to other women– and ourselves.
Get support: Let’s be real; we live in a hyper-competitive culture that often pits us against each other, vying for the “number one” position as the [prettiest], [wealthiest], [most successful], [most popular], etc. Some of our deep-seated beliefs about women (yes, even as women), may require some untangling with the help of a therapist.
Men Supporting Women
All of the above: We hope that this goes without saying, but men, we need you to practice all of the things mentioned above to support the women in your lives. Don’t shame, practice non-judgment, share your own feelings with honesty and vulnerability, build up and boost the women in your life, and of course, practice looking inward at your own inherited beliefs and traumas around women.
Practice active listening: There can be a tendency to want to fix or offer advice, when sometimes all somebody needs is to feel heard and understood. Actively listen when a woman in your life is speaking, and be cautious of interrupting. This is a great way to show anyone in your life that you’re actually hearing, and more deeply understanding, them.
Understand social structures and their impact: It's no secret that in even in today's world, different groups often have varying levels of influence and power. One way to support those around you is to educate yourself about how these dynamics affect people’s lives, then take meaningful actions that contribute to greater fairness and opportunity for everyone.
Promote equality for all: Consider donating to organizations that support equal opportunities for all people. Spend your money at businesses that prioritize fairness and inclusivity, and thoughtfully choose where you make purchases.
Share the responsibilities: If you share responsibilities with a woman—say you share a home, or a business, or a child, or even a dog—be sure you’re both doing your fair share of the work. If you see that she is struggling, explore ways you can help.
Do your own emotional labor: Research shows that women and minorities are disproportionately doing “emotional labor.” This means, we’re more often putting our energy into helping others with their emotions, as well as minimizing or regulating our own emotions.4 This (unpaid and often unnoticed) work is exhausting, so if you want to help women, one of the best things you can do is learn how to regulate and express your own emotions in a healthy way. You can also count on a trusted mental health professional.
Value female friendships: It’s 2024. Women are people too, and even if you’re not having sex with a woman, she can make a really great friend. Practice having completely platonic friendships with women–they may be some of the best friends you can meet.
Don’t be a bystander: If you see violence towards anyone, don’t be a bystander. Violence can look like physical, verbal, or emotional manipulation or abuse, and it can happen at home, at work, or in public. Likewise, don’t share or support content that normalizes brutalization or violence toward women.
Of course, there are a million other ways you can support women on World Kindness Day (and we sincerely hope on all other days, as well). If anything, simply asking somebody, “How can I support you?” and then actually doing that thing, can be a direct way to show kindness to somebody—of any gender—today and every day.
A note on sex and gender: Sex and gender exists on spectrums, and this article uses terms like “male” or “female” to refer to sex assigned at birth. Learn more.
