Melissa is 36. She’s the founder of a startup that has just gone public and her days often start at 6 AM and don’t end until 10. She loves it. She’s been seeing someone who we’ll call James for about two years. Both think it might be nice to have kids someday—but neither feel especially hurried—or have the time.
Alex is 32. She and her girlfriend of three years just got engaged and they’re planning on buying their first home. They have two dogs who they consider their “fur babies,” and some houseplants that generally tend to go by the wayside. Neither is sure about having kids—it’s a conversation for the future.
Amanda is 40. She’s single, living her best life in New York. She has a group of talented artist friends and is constantly engaged in that community, as an art curator herself. She doesn’t love the idea of being in a relationship, but she’s always wanted a daughter.
Hayden is 27. She’s pansexual and is just dating around right now; having fun. She’s only just finished grad school and is living with her parents again while looking for a job. She’s pretty certain she doesn’t want children.
And yet—all of these women from different walks of life get asked the same question over and over:
When are you having kids?
Why the Biological Clock Ideology is Harmful
It seems no matter how old or young, rich or poor, single or married, asexual or bi, or whatever—every woman, at some point, is reminded by society (and by society we mean family, well-meaning friends, or that one time, a stranger at a basketball game. Yes, seriously.) that her biological clock is ticking! And she had better get busy making babies.
It doesn’t seem to matter whether or not said woman actually wants children. In fact, even if she has vehemently declared that she doesn’t, it’s often met with, “You’ll change your mind when you get older.”
Even for those women who do want kids—desperately want kids—the constant reminder that some invisible clock is slowly ticking away your good fertility years is not just harmful, but deeply rooted in sexism.
Circadian Rhythm vs. Biological Clock
The truth is, when well-meaning family members and that one drunk guy at the basketball game say things like “Your biological clock is ticking!” they’re using the phrase incorrectly.
In science, your body’s “biological clock” refers to circadian rhythms that govern your sleep-wake cycles, as well as hormone secretion, metabolism, and other rhythmic behaviors.1 This internal “biological clock” can be found in all organisms (yes, even bacteria!)2
However, not all that long ago the term “biological clock” was hijacked to start describing the ticking time bomb that is a woman’s fertility window.
According to an article in The Guardian by Moira Wiegel, the first time this term was used in this way was in 1978. She describes an article in The Washington Post (written by a man) called “The Clock is Ticking for the Career Woman.”3 In the article our delightful author describes a sort of “composite woman” to represent all women between the ages of 27 and 35 who are living their best life—they’re thriving in their careers, they’re socially fulfilled. But one thing is missing—
They all want to have a baby, according to this late 70s reporter. In the older article he says,
I’ve gone around, a busy bee of a reporter, from woman to woman. Most of them said that they could hear the clock ticking … Sometimes the Composite Woman is married and sometimes she is not. Sometimes, horribly, there is no man in the horizon. What there is always, though, is a feeling that the clock is ticking … You hear it wherever you go.3
The Biological Clock Myth
First of all, let’s just make one thing clear: Some women do want to have children; some women aren’t sure; some women are sure that they don’t want to have children.
But we must look at the timing of this Washington Post article to really make a case for why the “biological clock” phrase came about, and why it’s, frankly, BS.
In 1978 we were in the wake of the feminist movement, oral contraceptives and IUDs were finally effective and widely used, abortion was made legal with Roe v. Wade (later reversed), and more and more women were deciding to delay marriage and motherhood—or opt out altogether—in pursuit of education and careers.4,5,6
In short, the birth rate was declining and more “traditional ideals” were being threatened.7 And by traditional ideals, we mean those that uphold patriarchal norms and benefit men.
So yes, this male writer was losing it, and so the “biological clock” was invented to remind women: Your job is to have babies, you have a limited time to do so, and if you don’t, you’re not meeting societal expectations.
For Women Who Don’t Want to Have Children
Well, there’s not a lot you need to worry about here. Haters are gonna hate. When somebody says, “Oh you’ll change your mind,” or “you’ll regret it later!” you can simply smile and let your eyes glaze over, imagining the next blissful, child-free vacation you’re going to take.
For Women Who Do Want to Have Children
Even for those who do want children more than anything in the world, we recommend filing phrases like “Your biological clock is ticking!” into your mind’s junk folder. People who say this may be well-meaning, but it truly just causes pressure and anxiety in a situation where that’s not helpful.
Here’s what is helpful.
- Remind yourself, you have time, and you have options.
- Though fertility (for both men and women) naturally declines with age, there are still plenty of women who get pregnant and give birth naturally into their 40s.8
- In fact, in the U.S. over 20 percent of women are now having their first child after the age of 35.9
- The birth rate among mothers aged 25 to 39 has risen by 272% in the last 40 years.9
- Technology is advancing, fast. We live in a world where IVF and egg freezing are becoming more common, allowing women to have babies later in life. (Though the cost is still prohibitive for many.)
- Adoption is an option—no matter your age or fertility.
- Supplements may help. While a supplement can’t replace tech like IVF, there are some trusted ingredients that you can discuss with your healthcare provider.
PREGGO TTC + CoQ10 Support: This fertility-supporting formula includes all-natural science-backed ingredients like folic acid, selenium, iodine, NAC, zinc, maca root, omega-3s, and 400 mg of the antioxidant CoQ10 for egg health and healthy conception. Learn more about how these ingredients work together for female reproductive support, nutrition, and sexual health here.*
PREGGO Sperm Health: Let’s not forget, fertility declines with age in males, too. (Though somehow women were the only ones hit with the whole “biological clock” thing. Re: patriarchy.)
PREGGO Sperm Health is full of ingredients like vitamin C, copper, Alpha-Lipoic Acid, selenium, NAC, zinc, vitamin E, and Tongkat Ali, a traditional herb used for supporting healthy testosterone. Learn more about how PREGGO Sperm Health works to improve sperm count and motility, boost healthy testosterone, and enhance male sexual health here.*
