Sexual confidence isn’t about looking your absolute best in the moment or having the flexibility of a gymnast—it’s about feeling comfortable, connected and engaged with your own body. For many women, this journey starts with cultivating a positive relationship with their vagina and embracing their sexuality without shame (but as we know, this is a lot easier said than done).
In this blog, we’ll explore ways to build sexual confidence by focusing on self-care, education, and embracing what makes you feel good.
Get To Know Your Body
When was the last time you took a good, long look at your vagina? One of the best ways to boost your confidence in the bedroom is to understand and appreciate your body—more specifically your vagina—and all of its amazing functions.
However, it’s exceptionally common that women grow up with limited knowledge about their anatomy, which can lead to insecurity. Here’s what we recommend:
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Get familiar with yourself: Use a mirror to look at your vulva. Understand what’s normal for you, from appearance to scent. Every vagina is unique, and learning about your own helps eliminate self-consciousness.
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Explore pleasure: Your body deserves pleasure, and understanding what feels good to you is key. Experiment with touch, explore erogenous zones, and understand how your body responds.
- Consider speaking with an expert: If negative feelings like anxiety are impacting your relationship with your own body, it may be beneficial to talk to therapist or other healthcare provider who can provide personalized support.
When you feel comfortable in your skin, you radiate confidence—and now the expression “know thyself” can take on a whole new meaning.
Prioritize Vaginal Health & Self-Care
You heard it here first: we believe a healthy vagina leads to a happier you. Keeping up with self-care (especially for your vagina) can make you feel more in control of your body and more at ease during intimate moments. Here are some quick tips:
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Practice good hygiene: Your vagina is self-cleaning, so avoid harsh soaps and douching which can throw off its natural balance. Stick to gentle, fragrance-free cleansers or feminine washes for the external area.
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Breathable Fabrics: Cotton underwear and loose-fitting clothing help prevent irritation and infections.
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See your OBGYN: Prioritizing gynecological health with routine exams and screenings ensures everything is in good shape. If you’re unsure about what to expect, check out this guide from an OBGYN.
Feeling good about your body starts with taking care of it. When you know your vaginal health is in check, you can focus on enjoying intimacy rather than worrying about discomfort or insecurity.
Challenge Negative Thoughts & Shame
For many women, shame around sexuality has been ingrained from an early age (and yes, we have a blog on the history of sexual stigmatization that you 100% should read). Confidence comes from unlearning these harmful narratives and replacing them with self-acceptance.
Sounds easy right? It’s no surprise that this is a struggle for many women–so here are some ways to start making changes:
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Reshape your mindset: Remember that your sexuality is natural, and pleasure is a healthy part of life. It’s okay to embrace it without guilt—but know that for many individuals this takes time (not to mention hard work and years of therapy).
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Surround yourself (and your feed) with positive messaging: Follow social media accounts, books, and podcasts that encourage women to embrace their bodies and sexuality. It can also be beneficial to hit the unfollow button when your feed is full of accounts that don’t align with your self-love goals.
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Stop comparing: Ever heard the expression “comparison is the thief of joy?” Every woman’s experience is different, and confidence doesn’t come from fitting into a mold—it comes from fully accepting yourself as you are.
When you own your sexuality without shame, confidence comes naturally.
Invest in Self-Pleasure
A big part of sexual confidence is knowing what brings you pleasure. Exploring your own body through self-pleasure (more specifically, masturbation) can help you feel more comfortable during intimacy. Some things to to bear in mind as you embark on your exploration:
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Learn what feels good: Experiment with different types of touch, pressure, and movements to understand your pleasure better.
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Try different tools: Vibrators and other pleasure-enhancing tools can help you explore new sensations and build a deeper connection with your body.
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Release the stigma: Self-pleasure is not taboo—it’s self-care (and yes, it’s just as normal for women to masturbate as men). When you understand your own pleasure, you can communicate your needs more confidently.
Communicate with Yourself First
You don’t need a partner to build sexual confidence—that’s because your relationship with yourself is the most important one. Remember:
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Practice affirmations: Remind yourself that you are desirable, confident, and worthy of pleasure.
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Set boundaries & honor them: Knowing your own limits and what makes you feel good (or not) is essential.
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Give yourself grace: Confidence is a journey, and self-love takes practice. Be kind to yourself along the way.
Owning Your Sexual Confidence
Building sexual confidence is about embracing your body, prioritizing self-care, and allowing yourself to feel good without guilt or shame–and this takes time.
When you allow yourself to connect with your own pleasure and well-being, you’ll naturally feel more comfortable in the bedroom—whether you’re with a partner or just enjoying your own excellent company.
